How to combat parental alienationDivorce and separation has been known to breed bad blood between most parents and children, this occurs when one partner uses the children to target the other. Understandably it’s very frustrating when you find yourself cut off from your child’s life because of your ex’s manipulation.A major area of concern for social workers dealing with divorced or separated couples with children is the issue of parental alienation, resulting from the efforts on the part of one parent to turn a child against the other parent. These problem are usually encountered in various ways; such as in schools, family service agencies and family court, as well as in private practice working with high-conflict divorcing couples.Some social workers may have probably dealt with this particular phenomenon over the course of their careers but might have been unaware of its name. For example, clients may enter individual therapy with signs of anxiety, depression, or relationship problems and later reveal that they have been cut off from their children by the other parent.Working with targeted parentsAs a Social workers counseling parents who are going through parental alienation, you must offer support, education, and guidance. The social worker’s primary role here is to educate the client about parental alienation (especially regarding the primary behaviors that could turn a child against the other parent) and parental alienation syndrome (especially as it involves the behavioral manifestations of an alienated child) after which the parent can determine whether this is in fact the problem. These parents must be encouraged to evaluate themselves and their relationship with their children prior to blaming the other parent for their difficulties.At the end if the conclusion is that parental alienation is at work, then the client should be taught a series of responses to the problem that can allow him/her to maintain the high road while not becoming overly passive or reactive.Here are some key steps to take when dealing with parental alienationDon’t take the bait: in these cases, your child may often bring up accusations and show signs of anger towards you. You must avoid trying to debate every petty issue as this will only fuel the contentious flames. Avoid small battles and focus on building memorable moments together.Hold yourself to the highest standard of conduct: You must manage your anger in these situations. Pay your bills. And follow the law. Don’t give your ex things to use against you by either your kids or the courts. Think of it as if you are being videotaped and behave accordingly. Sure, it may seem unfair that your ex gets to bend — even break — the rules and still have your child’s glowing praises. But you must focus on your ultimate goal: A loving and healthy relationship with your child.Don’t blame your kid: You must appreciate that he/she is a victim here too. Most Children who become detached from a parent as a result of parental alienation are also affected into adulthood. It might feel convenient, for you to channel your rage and frustration at your child. After all, he/she is contributing to your unhappiness. But you must resist it by reminding yourself that your ex is really the one to blame here. Your child is caught in the middle of a terrible struggle.Maintain your affection for your kids and stick to your schedule: You must continually let your children know you care for their well-being. They need to hear you say that you want them in your life. You must constantly assure them that your love is unconditional. Text, e-mail, IM, or leave voice messages on a regular basis. They need to know that you will love and forgive them — no matter what. Also try to carry out all plans you’ve made with your child, even if you think he/she will not be made available. The one time you renege will likely be when your kids are waiting or your ex is given a “proof” of your apparent lack of interest in the children.Assemble a good legal/health team: You need to have Legal and mental health professionals who understand your situation handy. Be sure they are well versed in parental alienation and can advocate for the best interests of you and your children.

How To Combat Parental Alienation